The World’s Greatest Conversation on Behavior, Influence, and Negotiation: A One-of-Kind Interview by Joe Polish with B.J. Fogg PhD, Dr. Robert Cialdini, and Chris Voss

Ethical Conduct and Authority:

• Genuine authority enhances credibility.
• Counterfeiting authority or misrepresenting evidence leads to negative repercussions.
• Ethical behavior not only maintains acceptability but is commendable and beneficial in negotiations.

Chris Voss’s Background:

• Master negotiator with extensive experience in crisis and international kidnapping negotiations for the FBI.
• Developed negotiation techniques used globally.
• Founded the Black Swan Group to teach business negotiation using hostage negotiation techniques.
• Author of the bestseller “Never Split the Difference.”

Negotiation Insights:

• Effective negotiation involves making others feel heard and valued.
• Using empathy leads to astonishing results rather than exciting confrontations.
• True negotiation success is often understated and revolves around genuine connection and understanding.

The Role of Empathy:

• Empathy makes the other party feel heard and cared for.
• Leads to the release of oxytocin, fostering trust and honesty.
• Results in serotonin release, leading to satisfaction and reduced demands.

Personal Anecdotes and Examples:

• Stories of negotiations where adversaries became allies through empathetic approaches.
• Real-world application of negotiation techniques from business to everyday interactions.

Ethical Use of Influence

• Host discusses the importance of ethics in marketing and business.
• Distinguishes between ethical enthusiasm and unethical hype.
• Highlights the negative connotation of words like “hype” and “manipulation.”

Robert’s Perspective

• Emphasizes the ethical use of influence techniques.
• Quotes Benjamin Franklin on persuasion: “Speak not to argument, speak to self-interest.”
• Cites an ancient philosopher: “Seek not dishonest gains. Dishonest gains are losses.”
• Stresses the importance of aligning ethical behavior with self-interest to ensure genuine influence.

Chris’s Perspective

• Chris shares experiences from hostage negotiations.
• Emphasizes never lying or deceiving in negotiations.
• Uses historical analogy of Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI to illustrate the consequences of unethical behavior.
• Argues that unethical actions eventually lead to downfall, like the mob during the French Revolution.
• Describes how ethical conduct leads to better outcomes and relationships.

BJ’s Perspective

• BJ recounts his work on persuasive technologies and the ethical considerations involved.
• Shares a maxim: “Help people do what they already want to do.”
• Discusses the importance of aligning help with ethical behavior and long-term benefits.

Learning and Teaching Ethics

• Host reflects on his journey of learning from ethical and unethical marketers.
• Bob, Chris, and BJ provide insights on being effective students and teachers.
• Chris highlights the importance of choosing the right mentors and sources of advice.
• BJ discusses innovative teaching methods, like connecting students’ parents on Zoom for relationship-building exercises.
• Bob emphasizes understanding the “why” behind techniques to become more effective and ethical.

Impact of Ethical Behavior

• Discussion on the long-term effects of ethical behavior in business and personal life.
• Host shares his experience with undercover operations exposing unethical practices.
• Emphasizes the importance of integrity and ethical conduct for sustainable success.