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Episode #464

The World’s Greatest Conversation on Behavior, Influence, and Negotiation: A One-of-Kind Interview by Joe Polish with B.J. Fogg PhD, Dr. Robert Cialdini, and Chris Voss

Learn unique strategies for creating lasting change, boosting conversion rates, and navigating tough situations. Discover ethical ways to use these powerful tools and insights on AI’s impact on behavior. Tune in for transformative tips on success and discerning truth in a world of uncertainty.

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Here’s a glance at what you’ll learn in this episode:

  • What the top former FBI hostage negotiator says is the master secret to winning any negotiation
  • A unique way to use behavior to create lasting change when almost nothing else seems to work
  • What the world’s greatest social psychologist and “godfather of influence” says is the most important key to influence and persuasion
  • B.J. Fogg’s three-part behavioral model that can help you more easily navigate any difficult circumstance or situation
  • The right (and WRONG) ways to use the tools of influence, persuasion, negotiation, and behavior (And why being unethical doesn’t pay)
  • A simple set of words you can add to your website to significantly increase your conversion rates
  • What the world’s foremost authority on behavioral science says is the simplest way to achieve almost any outcome you want
  • What the smartest people in the world do to know who to listen to and who to learn from
  • Dr. Robert Cialdini reveals 3 ways to reduce uncertainty and increase discernment in a world of lies, propaganda, and media misdirection
  • The way to congratulate your team members so it causes them to put MORE effort and motivation towards your organization’s goals
  • The neuroscience behind “feeling heard” that the top hostage negotiators in the world know
  • Chris, Dr. Cialdini, and B.J. give their thoughts about AI’s impact on behavior, influence, and negotiation
  • What to do when someone violates your core values (and how to know when to let go of a relationship)
  • One of the richest people in the world says THIS is important to focus on when growing a business
  • Chris Voss reveals the surprising difference between your amygdala and your gut and how to take back control of your emotional architecture
  •  The limiting beliefs B.J. Fogg, Dr. Cialdini, and Chris Voss had to overcome to achieve success

Ethical Conduct and Authority:

  • Genuine authority enhances credibility.
  • Counterfeiting authority or misrepresenting evidence leads to negative repercussions.
  • Ethical behavior not only maintains acceptability but is commendable and beneficial in negotiations.

Chris Voss’s Background:

  • Master negotiator with extensive experience in crisis and international kidnapping negotiations for the FBI.
  • Developed negotiation techniques used globally.
  • Founded the Black Swan Group to teach business negotiation using hostage negotiation techniques.
  • Author of the bestseller “Never Split the Difference.”

Negotiation Insights:

  • Effective negotiation involves making others feel heard and valued.
  • Using empathy leads to astonishing results rather than exciting confrontations.
  • True negotiation success is often understated and revolves around genuine connection and understanding.

The Role of Empathy:

  • Empathy makes the other party feel heard and cared for.
  • Leads to the release of oxytocin, fostering trust and honesty.
  • Results in serotonin release, leading to satisfaction and reduced demands.

Personal Anecdotes and Examples:

  • Stories of negotiations where adversaries became allies through empathetic approaches.
  • Real-world application of negotiation techniques from business to everyday interactions.

Ethical Use of Influence

  • Host discusses the importance of ethics in marketing and business.
  • Distinguishes between ethical enthusiasm and unethical hype.
  • Highlights the negative connotation of words like “hype” and “manipulation.”

Robert’s Perspective

  • Emphasizes the ethical use of influence techniques.
  • Quotes Benjamin Franklin on persuasion: “Speak not to argument, speak to self-interest.”
  • Cites an ancient philosopher: “Seek not dishonest gains. Dishonest gains are losses.”
  • Stresses the importance of aligning ethical behavior with self-interest to ensure genuine influence.

Chris’s Perspective

  • Chris shares experiences from hostage negotiations.
  • Emphasizes never lying or deceiving in negotiations.
  • Uses historical analogy of Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI to illustrate the consequences of unethical behavior.
  • Argues that unethical actions eventually lead to downfall, like the mob during the French Revolution.
  • Describes how ethical conduct leads to better outcomes and relationships.

BJ’s Perspective

  • BJ recounts his work on persuasive technologies and the ethical considerations involved.
  • Shares a maxim: “Help people do what they already want to do.”
  • Discusses the importance of aligning help with ethical behavior and long-term benefits.

Learning and Teaching Ethics

  • Host reflects on his journey of learning from ethical and unethical marketers.
  • Bob, Chris, and BJ provide insights on being effective students and teachers.
  • Chris highlights the importance of choosing the right mentors and sources of advice.
  • BJ discusses innovative teaching methods, like connecting students’ parents on Zoom for relationship-building exercises.
  • Bob emphasizes understanding the “why” behind techniques to become more effective and ethical.

Impact of Ethical Behavior

  • Discussion on the long-term effects of ethical behavior in business and personal life.
  • Host shares his experience with undercover operations exposing unethical practices.
  • Emphasizes the importance of integrity and ethical conduct for sustainable success.

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